Food Diary
by Rachel500
Summary: A mission goes pearshaped leaving Jacob, Sam and Jack to enjoy some quality time alone together.


Stargate SG1 is somebody else's, probably MGM/Gekko Corp/Sci-fi, and I freely admit that whoever's it is, I'm borrowing their show and they retain all rights, etc

**Author's Note: **This was written for the Sam & Jack Friendathon but I wasn't happy with the early draft and decided to submit another at the time the fic was due. I've dusted it off and revised it a bit, and as I'm much happier with it I'm posting it up as a bonus story to all my regular readers. Thank you for your support! Set just after Jolinar's Memories/The Devil You Know. The prompt is Jacob, Jack and Sam in a ship; alone for 72 hours. I've kind of played with the prompt a little but hopefully it still stands up!

**Food Diary**

_**Hour 1: Sandwich**_

He really wasn't sure where it had all gone wrong. Possibly, Jack O'Neill considered with some chagrin, when he had agreed to the mission. Why was that again, he mused. His eyes flickered to Jacob Carter who was manacled to the wall beside him.

Tok'ra intelligence – and wasn't that an oxymoron – had sighted some strange activity on a small planet in some remote system. They had contacted the SGC to recall Jacob who was vacationing on Earth after being rather dramatically rescued from Netu. His daughter, Samantha, was chained to the wall on the other side of Jack, and he wasn't certain he was completely enjoying being the meat in a Carter sandwich.

Jacob had actually invited all of SG1 along on the mission but Daniel Jackson and Teal'c had already accompanied SG8 to a trading planet to make an alliance with the Pod People who lived there. Jack had just been cleared for active duty after recovering from a leg injury so he had unfortunately been present when General Hammond had cheerfully suggested Jack and Sam could go along with him without them. All things considered he would have preferred the Pod People.

'They're called the Podae, sir.' Sam corrected him briskly and he suddenly realised he'd spoken aloud.

'Them,' he agreed, covering for his uncharacteristic loose tongue. He looked around the cargo hold. They were chained to the back wall with manacles around each wrist and one chain around their left ankle. Apart from them, the rest of the space was taken up with boxes and crates; a flashy statue and what looked like a really cool weapon.

The strange activity the Tok'ra had witnessed turned out to be smuggling. The smuggler, a broad, large alien who looked like a giant camel and smelled worse, had trapped them with an ease that embarrassed Jack.

'It was a trap, Colonel.' Sam reminded him.

Some trap. They'd crept up on the smuggler's cargo ship, sneaked in to find out what he was storing, had turned around and found themselves facing the wrong end of a zat gun. Embarrassing.

'We're never going to live this down.' Jack complained.

'Jack,' Jacob said in a tone that warned Jack the General had evidently reached the end of his rope on Jack's complaining, 'perhaps we should focus on a way out of this instead of rehashing how we ended up here.'

'Yes, Dad.' Jack responded cheekily.

Jacob shot him a look that could have stripped paint. Jack turned to Carter for support only to find her looking back at him with an identical expression.

Nope, thought Jack, he was _so_ not enjoying the Carter sandwich.

_**Hour 8: Pretzel**_

Sam wriggled trying to find a comfortable position. She was squished between the wall and the Colonel. The chain on her left leg left it twisted awkwardly underneath her and she couldn't unbend her right leg out without touching the Colonel who had both his legs stretched out comfortably in front of him. She felt a wave of resentment and scowled. She slumped back against the wall trying to ignore the cramps biting at the muscles in her legs.

It was all the Colonel's fault, Sam thought darkly. He'd been the one who had wanted to see what was in the cargo ship. Of course her Dad had agreed with him. She had protested and they had both ignored her. Despite the fact that the alien had only nipped away to answer a call of nature; despite the fact that they would be trapped once inside the cargo ship; despite the fact that their mission had been surveillance. Not even her 'with all due respect' had managed to make a dent in the Colonel's plan and it was even more galling that her father had sided with him.

She repressed the urge to sigh. In truth, the Colonel probably embodied the son Jacob Carter wished he'd had. It wasn't that he didn't love Mark; he did and he was very proud that Mark was doing well in his chosen profession and had a lovely wife and two great kids but Sam knew that her father had been disappointed deep down that Mark hadn't followed him into the Air Force.

And it wasn't that Jacob didn't love her either. She knew he loved the fact that she had joined up and was very proud of her achievements especially since he had learned the truth of her assignment. But she also believed that he would have preferred a boy – someone like the Colonel, someone who was every inch a soldier, someone who her father admired.

So it was bad enough that her father and her CO had conspired to take no notice of her rightful objections to entering the cargo ship but then she'd had to suffer the inequity of being stuffed in the corner because she was the woman and the smallest and neither her father or the Colonel seemed too bothered about the fact that she was deeply uncomfortable.

'_Nobody puts Baby in a corner.' _

The Dirty Dancing quote popped into her head unexpectedly and she bit her lips to stop herself from laughing. Actually, Sam thought amused, she could do with Patrick Swayze turning up.

Think, Sam, she berated herself. She was supposed to be thinking of a plan to escape. Her lips twisted. Of course, neither man had paid her any attention when she had protested but as soon as they were in trouble both had looked to her for a solution like she was Mary Poppins and could just magic them out of it.

She winced as the cramp bit into her right leg viciously.

'Oh for crying out loud, Carter. Just stretch your legs out.' Jack indicated his lap with a jerk of his head.

Sam looked at him blankly.

'You're twisted up like a pretzel.' Her CO pointed out brusquely.

Apparently he had noticed, Sam thought with a twinge of guilt, remembering her previous thoughts.

'Thank you, sir.' She unfolded her legs and stretched them out with relief, trying to ignore how her legs were resting over the Colonel's lap.

Jacob shot them a look.

'What?' Jack demanded.

Sam resolutely ignored the interaction. She was taking up yoga when they got home, Sam decided. That was if they got home.

_**Hour 15: Roasted Chestnuts**_

Jack shifted under the heated gaze of the alien who grunted something else in a language that Jack didn't understand and brandished the long pointy stick that he'd just used to knock out Jacob. Jack didn't need to look twice at the Major beside him to know Sam was worried about her father and whether he was OK.

'Hey,' Jack attempted to hold up his hands as much as he could given the restrictive chains, 'not understanding you, Camel Head.'

The stick waved ominously in front of his face.

'Maybe you shouldn't annoy him, sir.' Sam suggested breathlessly.

'Trying, Carter.' Jack muttered.

'Yes, sir.' Sam froze as the stick was pointed at her.

Jack kicked out at the alien purposefully. 'You want to talk to someone, you talk with me.'

It worked. The stick swerved back to him. Jack gently pushed it out of his face. 'Now this has all been a giant misunderstanding…'

Camel Head growled at him and yelled something that Jack determined wasn't good.

Jack saw the stick descending with wry acceptance. It hit his skin and his body contorted. The pain was bad; shock ran through his muscles and flesh. It left him breathless and panting.

His vision filled with grey and he fought off unconsciousness. The last glimpse he had was of the pain stick shifting back to Sam.

No, Jack thought weakly, knowing he couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't save her from the same pain, the same fate. _No._

_**Hour 36: Pigs in Blankets**_

Sam kept watch as her father and Jack slept. Camel Head, as her CO had dubbed him, had spent most of the day torturing both men. He had inexplicably not tortured her. Probably because she was female, Sam mused. She would be grumpy about the distinction but quite frankly had been pleased to be spared the excruciating pain that the two men with her had endured.

The torture had stopped an hour before when they'd been given water and something purporting to be food. The Colonel had taken a bite of his and determined he preferred to sleep. Her father had managed half of his before he had taken the same route.

Camel Head had provided them with blankets. Jack had curled up as much as he could, pulled the blanket over his head and dropped into sleep like a stone in a deep pond. Her father had done the same.

Sam watched over the two of them anxiously. She knew her father's symbiote was probably helping him deal with the injuries caused by the torture. Jack had no symbiote and he looked wrecked.

They had left the planet hours before which had ended the possibility of a rescue from the SGC. She could hear the hum of the engines; feel the movement of the ship under her. They were in hyperspace. God only knew where they were headed.

Their captor seemed to have left them alone but she knew he could come back at any time, and the two men couldn't take much more abuse even though she recognised that they both preferred Camel Head to target them rather than her. She had to find a way out for them.

No pressure, Sam thought dryly.

Her eyes scanned the cargo hold. Her eyes settled on the weapon across the space. It looked like one fantastic weapon. Sleek, silver with a big energy attachment that had Sam's mouth watering. If she could get to that…

Only to get to that she needed out of the chains and the only time they were released were for bathroom breaks. Camel Head always kept a weapon on her and the route to the bathroom was nowhere near to the weapon. She tugged on the chains at her wrists. There was some give but not enough. She thought longingly of her lock pick equipment in her vest which was also on the other side of the cargo hold. She had tried looking for anything in the small bathroom that would help but there was nothing.

There had to be someway out of their predicament, Sam thought firmly. She just had to find it.

Jack coughed weakly. Sam jerked her head towards him. He roused slowly, pushing the blanket away and reaching for the jug of water that Camel Head had left.

'How are you feeling, sir?' Sam asked softly, keeping her voice low so that she would not disturb her father.

'Great, Carter.' Jack mumbled, resting his head back against the wall of the cargo ship. 'Just great.'

Sam flushed guiltily and dropped her gaze from his taut, drawn expression.

'At least he's leaving you alone.'

Her eyes snapped back to his. He looked back at her evenly.

'Any thoughts on how we're going to get out of this?' Jack asked gesturing weakly at her.

She shook her head. 'Not yet, sir.'

'You'll think of something.' Jack said confidently. His eyes slid shut and she realised he'd passed out again.

Sam looked over at him thoughtfully. He had so much belief in her; so much faith. She couldn't let him down…she had to think of something.

_**Hour 43: Angel Delight**_

Jack glowered at the empty space beside him. His body was recovering from the multiple rounds with the pain stick which unfortunately left his mind completely clear, and he could distinctly remember Sam informing him of her plan and saying, 'You're not going to like it.'

Damn right he didn't like it.

He understood her thinking. As she had succinctly put it to him, Camel Head had pinned her as the weakest link or had some kind of ingrained chivalry since the most he'd done with Carter was growl at her or grunt. So she'd played on it. Batted her eyelids. Acted pathetic. Acted so unlike Carter that Jack had wondered whether he should present her with an Oscar.

She was so…his nose wrinkled; girly.

OK. So he was never – and he meant _never_ – repeating that to Carter. He personally liked his face the way it was and he didn't assume Carter was above striking a senior officer.

Camel Head seemed to be going for Girly Carter though. In a big way. He'd brought her better food; more blankets; had loosened the chains on her, and some time before had spirited Carter away.

Which was worrying.

'When she gets back, we're stopping this.' Jacob declared beside him heatedly.

'It's working.' Jack pointed out.

'It's madness.' Jacob shifted restlessly. 'We don't know what he's…' he stopped abruptly as though he didn't want to continue the thought.

Jack didn't want him to continue the thought. 'She'll be fine.' He wondered who he was trying to convince Jacob or himself. He moved position, subtly inching away from Jacob. 'Besides; it's a good plan and it's working.'

Jacob glared at him. 'We'll find another way.'

'Do you have another way?' Jack batted back caustically.

'You have to tell her to stop.' Jacob bit out angrily.

'Why me?' Jack shot back.

'You're her CO.'

'So?' Jack retorted fiercely. 'You're her Dad.'

The two of them glowered at each other.

The door slid open and Camel Head entered with Sam. Jack watched with narrowed eyes at the way Carter was hanging off the alien's arm and, more importantly, for the first time ever, Camel Head didn't have a gun pointed at her. They were half way across the cargo bay hold when she made her move.

She drove her elbow into Camel Head's solar plexus; her knee thrust up into his groin. Jacob and Jack winced simultaneously as Camel Head fell to the floor.

'That had to hurt.' Jack commented.

Unfortunately, Camel Head wasn't out of it. He growled angrily and made a grab for her. Sam smashed the heel of her boot into his face and dodged him. She ran across the hold and just as Jack surmised her plan, she grabbed the silver weapon and pointed it at their captor. A flash of bright white light later, Camel Head was a pile of ash.

Jacob cleared his throat in the stunned silence. 'How about getting us out of these chains, Sam?'

An apologetic look crossed her face. 'Ah…'

'Don't tell me.' Jack sighed. 'The keys were in his pocket.'

Her dancing blue eyes told him all he needed to know.

'Right.'

_**Hour 54: Bitter Chocolate**_

Sam stared at the crystals and wondered whether she could tweak the engines to go any faster. She bit her lip and decided she had done as much as she could. By the time she had managed to unlock the manacles from her father and the Colonel, the cargo ship was deep into Goa'uld territory. They'd done an about turn and were headed back to the planet. They were flying flat out and desperately hoping that nobody paid any attention to them.

Her eyes skimmed over the pile of ash in the centre of the cargo hold. Her gut clenched uncomfortably. Camel Head might have kidnapped and tortured them but she had hoped the weapon had a stun setting. It probably did but she'd had no time to figure it out. She had killed before; they were at war and sometimes there was no choice, she knew that, but it didn't take away the sick feeling every time she did it. She wished Daniel had been with them. Maybe he would have found a way to talk to the alien.

It didn't really help knowing the strategy she'd employed to lower Camel Head's defences; playing up to the helpless damsel image. She shuddered. The whole thing had left her feeling icky.

'How's it going?'

The Colonel's voice yanked her out of her thoughts and she turned to face him wearily. He looked as tired as she felt. The grooves that lined his face seemed deeper; there were shadows under his eyes and his jaw was tight.

'I think I've done as much as possible to increase the engine efficiency, sir.' She dragged a hand through her hair, leaving the blonde strands tousled in its wake.

Jack waved a hand at the wall and the two of them staggered over to sit against it. 'Dad won't let me fly.' He complained.

'He won't let me either, sir.' Sam noted as she stretched out and accepted the energy bar he handed her.

'Yes, well,' Jack motioned with his half-eaten bar, 'if you piloted the ship we'd probably be pulled over for speeding.'

She paused in eating the energy bar and glared at him. He responded with his patented 'I didn't mean it' look. Sam bit into the energy bar with more force than was probably necessary.

'So.' Jack unwrapped the next section of his bar with careful precision. 'Good work today.'

She shrugged, unwilling to take praise for killing Camel Head or for the tactics she'd used to disarm him.

'It was him or us.' The Colonel's quiet statement had her turning to look at her CO again. His empathy soothed something inside of Sam.

'I know, sir.'

'Doesn't make it any easier though.' Jack continued.

'No, sir.' Sam agreed. 'I just…' she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her shins. 'I just didn't enjoy using the tactics I did, gaining his trust, and then…' her eyes drifted to the pile of ash.

Jack finished off his energy bar. 'You going to be OK?'

Sam glanced at him and warmed at his concern. She nodded. 'Yes, sir.'

He set his empty wrapper aside and clasped his hands over his stomach. 'You think it'll annoy Dad if I ask if we're there yet?'

She felt the tug on her lips before she could stop the smile but she didn't answer him. She was so not going there with her father.

'That's what I thought.' Jack said at her non-reply. He waited a beat. 'Hey, Dad!' He called out loudly so his voice would carry to the front of the ship. 'Are we there yet?'

_**Hour 65: Rock Cakes**_

The large thumps woke Jack from a light sleep. He jerked upright in one breath; was on his feet in another. He staggered into the cockpit of the cargo ship and grabbed a console to save himself from being thrown to the deck.

'So, what's going on?' He asked, trying to maintain a casual tone.

Sam's father sat unperturbed in the pilot's seat, swerving between large asteroids with a calm authority that unnerved Jack more than it reassured him. It reminded him far too much of the way Carter drove her car and he determined that a love of speed was obviously a family trait.

'Asteroid belt.' Jacob said far too cheerfully for Jack's liking.

Jack threw him a look. 'Short cut?' He asked delicately.

'We spotted a Goa'uld patrol, sir.' Sam explained from the passenger seat. Her white knuckles gave away her own state of mind. 'It was this or…' she gestured at him. She glanced at him with her 'I'm not happy about this either, sir, but we have no choice' expression.

'Ah.' Jack said understandingly.

There was another thump.

'It's just debris.' Jacob ducked the ship under another large rock. 'The ship will be fine. We have shields.'

Jack looked at him in disbelief before he switched his gaze to Sam expectantly.

'I, uh,' Sam slipped out of the passenger seat, 'I think I'll go check on the shield emitters.'

'Good idea, Carter.' Jack agreed in relief.

_**Hour 72: Squash**_

The cargo ship didn't so much land on the planet as it fell from the sky and hit the ground. Everything went flying; crates, boxes…the strange statue.

Sam saw it heading towards her and scrambled to get out of the way. The Colonel caught her arm and yanked her towards him.

The stabilisers must be shot, Sam realised as she landed heavily on the Colonel causing him to give a small groan as her elbow connected with his sore ribs.

'Sorry, sir.' Sam struggled to catch her breath as the cargo ship bounced over the ground and they slid across the floor and into a wall.

The Colonel took the brunt of the hit. He tried to smother the groan. 'Not a problem, Carter.' The way he winced suggested otherwise.

They both braced themselves again as the ship skidded to a halt.

Jack waved toward the front of the ship, winded. 'Go check on your Dad, Carter.'

Sam shifted off him with an apologetic grimace and made for the cockpit. 'Dad?'

He looked back at her and smiled. 'I'm fine, kiddo.'

Jack limped into the doorway; he was holding his ribs tenderly. 'Well, I don't know about you guys but I'm ready to go home and celebrate, you know,' his hand made a vague gesture, 'surviving.'

Jacob's lips twitched as he met Sam's indulgent gaze. 'By all means, Jack,' the former General agreed dryly, 'let's go home and celebrate.'

_**Hour 90: Cake**_

Jack barely looked up as Daniel and Teal'c took the empty seats at the commissary table. The archaeologist slid in beside Sam, Teal'c sat beside Jack.

'Jack.' Daniel said nudging his glasses up his nose.

'Daniel.' Jack pointed at him with his fork. 'How were the Pod People?'

'The Podae.' Daniel corrected absently. 'They were fine.'

'They have agreed to an alliance, O'Neill.' Teal'c confirmed, his dark head inclining.

'What about you guys?' Daniel asked. 'What did you get up to while we were gone?'

Jack looked over at Sam. Her blue eyes twinkled mischievously across the table at him in complete agreement with his unspoken plan on how to respond.

'Oh, you know,' Jack forked up some cake, 'Carter and I went on a road trip with Dad. No big deal.'

Sam rolled her eyes, her lips twitching as she stuffed a large blob of jello in her mouth but she didn't disagree and it left Daniel frowning in confusion at them.

Jack licked his fork clean of chocolate frosting with a smirk. All things considered he found he didn't really mind missing out on the Pod People after all.

The End


End file.
